This is a witty description. It's here to make me seem cooler than I am, and to try to hold your attention.

/This is here to make you wonder if I downplay my coolness because in reality think I'm the coolest person ever.

//This is here to make you wonder if I know how overdone descriptions that refer to themselves as "witty" are.


So I was watching the Evening for Awesome livestream-but-not-live. It was awesome. That’s mostly unrelated to the body of this post, because Goober isn’t feeling great and he’s been nursing all day.

I was watching this video and getting so tired and I was ready to pause it and go downstairs. I didn’t cope with cluster feeding well when he was a newborn, and he had a lot of it saved up from being on a schedule in the NICU. 

So this marathon nursing session was bringing back the feelings of helplessness and insanity. I was wondering why I’m still fighting. I almost caved to go make a bottle of formula. I haven’t given him formula in months. It’s a slippery slope, mental health-wise and supply-wise. Then Kimya Dawson was on stage, and all I could think of was this blog post:

Which is obviously old and I read a long time ago and not in the context of being a mother myself. Then I looked down into those sweet eyes and they say “Mama, I need you.” I remember why I’m doing this, that I love it. 

Thank you, Kimya Dawson. You may have just saved our nursing relationship.